I don’t even know what to say today, Sis. Except that I love you, I miss you and I wish that you were here. It’s Grandpa’s birthday. Another birthday. Another tenth. Another month without you here. Nine months. Nine long, dark months. It snowed this morning. The sun came out this afternoon, but there is a freezing wind that feels like tears stinging your cheeks. I took Valentine’s decorations to the cemetery and took down your birthday things.
I’m tired of missing you. I’m tired of everything feeling bleak. I’m tired of feeling tired. I hate winter. I hate life without my girl. I hate going through the motions of living and pretending to be okay. I know I have people and things to be grateful for. I’m trying, Boo. I really am. I even danced this week, for the first time since you left us. And I pray every day that you are happy in heaven. Love you, baby girl.